entry #2514, blather / "Transcript Theatre : Heat"
[2025.2.20]

Heat is a racing boardgame for 1-6 players. It's a good time, I've been playing with friends in various settings for a year or two now. Most recently I was playing with friends on boardgamearena.com, which has a tiny chat feature so you can message the other folks around the virtual table.

   It's been a minute since we've done Transcript Theatre. Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends...

   The stage thus set, I'd just come off a game where I'd gotten trounced and so was going to eschew the trash talk I'd tossed about at the start of the last game. And then a friend posts this, because racing game :

> Reluctantly crouched at the starting line
> Engines pumping and thumping in time
> The green light flashes, the flags go up
> Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup
> They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank
> Fuel burning fast on an empty tank

   I completely fail to read these as lyrics from a song and assume we are now composing raps! ( because why? I honestly have no idea. welcome to my brain )

Middle of the pack screaming and dreaming of first <
Stress through the roof and I’m driving a hearse <
Locked in like a coffin my lead foot is your curse <
Tires throwing gravel like I’m spitting this verse <

( *ugh* "throwing" to "throw" sounds better ) <

HappyChef > Throwin’ is how how I read it, given the context, which I think keeps your meter
HappyChef > I’m impressed you can drive and rhyme at the same damn time
Is this provocative or an insult? Please do NOT engage if it is. You may want to block this player with a red thumb and/or report them to the moderators.

HappyChef > Oh shirt, I tripped the muthaa forking provocation bot
 
glasshand > Holy forkin’ shirtballs

No idea what came over me - maybe a good cup of coffee <
or divine caffeine intervention. <
Credit to Thew for kicking it off. <

thew > Well I was just copy pasting Cake lyrics. You win hands down.

   Which was cool and I got a happy glow and we kvetched a bit about how well Nate was doing. And then this thumped into my head because I was re-reading things and it started to get its own rhythm. ( the double post at the beginning was accidental but I kinda like it )

Throwin is how I read it <
Throwin is how I read it <
Drive like I steal it <
Downshift to insult so <
Engage if you believe it <
[ o shirt mother forker shirt mother forker shirt ] <
Happy is the Chef who brings up the back <
I’m just too blue so like Red roll on past <
Now Nate’s got the hate for the heat at his place <
And as for Grand Thew, well let him eat Cake. <

   ...and everyone just ran with it.

> The Chef’s car is black, he’s comin’ from the back of the pack
> But he don’t mind, it’s his angle of attack
> Now he’s ass smackin’ as he’s passin’
> Cookin’ down the track
 
> This Nemebro keeps slipstreaming
> tight corner speeding
> my engine full of heat while you be dreaming
 
> First two cars, neck and neck
> Glasshand fans stand up in shock
> Stans in stands from the upperdeck
> Taking first not through skill, but luck

   Totally made my day, hadda post. Also She dug my lyrics when I read them back to her. Maybe my reward for taking the L, is that I got - once in my life - to have bars. Nice!